ok, i have decided that when i look for love, it usually runs and hides. so from now on i am not looking for love. nothing goes the way i want it to when i look for it. usually the guy either wants to be just friends or he likes my best friend, which is what i think is happening now. i was so excited to find out that i had a class with him but now she will join the class and he seems a little too excited about that. whenever i get to see him, she is there too. all i wanted was a little time with him by myself, but i guess i will have to share it with her. its totally not her fault, its nobody's fault, its just my life. i just hope i can put my feeling for him in that emotional garbage can where i store the feelings of every other boy thats never liked me but its overflowing.

its been kinda rough, the last couple days. my emotions are up and running and unforunatly for those around me, i dont hide how i am feeling very well. i am so tired of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. i am so sick of being the sidekick.
i had it in my head that whoever i had feelings for would also like me back. boy was i wrong. its never been like that for me, only once in my life did it work out that way, and look how that relationship ended.
someone told me that i am aiming too high. maybe i am. last time i checked i was actually a good person. i dont say dirty things, i dont watch dirty movies. when something is going on that i dont like, i speak up about it. last time i checked, that was actually a mature thing to do, but i could be wrong.
im not immature (about most things) i deserve a good man who loves me and treats me right. is that asking too much?
im hurt, i feel even worse than i did before. i dont think i aim too high because i deserve the best, why not aim for it. i know i need to work on things, but that doesnt mean i cant like someone and expect them to return those feelings. why cant it just work out the way i want it to. i am so sick of feeling not good enough. i used to have a great self esteem, but its fading.
i just want to love and be loved in return...

hello there, my name is kim coleman and i am a single twenty year old. im not sure how i feel about being single, most days im ok with it, but i would really really love to find my soul mate. i am so tired of the dating game! i have only had two and a half boyfriends in the past and as you can tell, they didnt work out because i am single. i have yet to receive mt first kiss, which doesnt mean that no one wants to kiss me, they do, but i have just not really thought of it as a priority...until now. i am the only one i know of who is still a v.l. i should let you know right here and now that i am love crazy, i am a hopless romantic. i want my fairytail relationship and my dream wedding, and i want to live happily ever after! and im not the most patient person so i am kinda going crazy. there arent really any prospects as of right now, you could say that i am unlucky when it comes to guys. there is someone who i could see myself possibly dating but i have only known him a week and my best friend, who happens to be his roomate, has told me not to get so attatched. thats like code for "i know he doesnt like you because he is my roomate so im telling you not to get attatched because i dont want you to get hurt" i know the code. i dont know whats wrong with me? i think im pretty cute, but i think i scare guys off. i am a hard person to be friends with because you actually have to work to be my friend. but its totally worth it...i think. you'll have to ask my friends.